There's a saying in 12-step groups "It's not for those who need it but for those who want it." Perhaps that message is most true for young adults ages 18 to 25.
I've been running a group for parents (almost all moms) which neets monthly for about 5 years now. It wasn't set up to be a group for parents of young adults but it seems to have evolved into such. Lately we've been reading more and more about this generation of children who have embraced the "Peter Pan Syndrome;" not as Michael Jackson so openly admitted to doing but rather surreptitiously and perhaps unintentionally with the help of their parents.
One of the last times our parent's group met we spoke about how we couldn't wait to get out of our homes and away from our parents--some of us left younger than others and put ourselves through school. That sort of desire, to be independent, just doesn't seem to be there for our kids. Oh, they say they want to be on their own but when it comes down to doing the work necessary to make it happen they fall down on the job big time.
W could chalk some of it up to their use of alcohol and other drugs but for most that isn't it at all. And come to think of it "back in the day," young people I knew were enmeshed in their addictions but some how functioning--myself included. I nearly flunked out of college twice (and thrown out of high school once) but somehow kept managing to get back in the game and finish up with a degree that got me an entry level job in what looked to be a fun career (i.e. more drinking and drugging). I was home 5 weeks after graduation when I had already begun to work and found an apartment I could afford to share with a boyfriend (and eventually too many nasty cockaroaches) with furniture from the salvation army and my cat Luni. The rent was 1/2 my salary but I still managed to survive and have enough left over to continue to build my addiction.
So what is it? Have we made it too easy for young adults to stay home? Have we not instilled the idea that being independent and responsible for oneself is actually fun and feels good? Maybe there's no one answer just like there's no one cure for addiction but it certainly helps explain the statistics outlined in the below article.
Happy 4th of July everyone! Be Safe and Sober...
Young Adults Need for Addiction Treatment Outpaces Desire for Help
Federal researchers say that 21.1 percent of Americans ages 18 to 25 have alcohol or other drug problems serious enough to require addiction treatment, but few of them recognized their need for help or sought assistance from a treatment facility.
Link to full page: http://www.jointogether.org/news/headlines/inthenews/2009/young-adults-need.html